🔴 How To Be Confident
I’ve approached nearly 200 strangers and asked them for a video interview on the streets of New York City.
Some of the highlights from these interviews have been:
Getting sisters to squash their beef after not talking for a year
And reconnecting friends who lost contact over 10 years ago
So in today’s newsletter, I want to share what I learned from approaching 200 people for these interviews.
What I’ve learned is that strangers aren’t that strange.
They’re just another person living a life as complex as yours.
They don’t have to be scary. They’re actually pretty nice if you smile and are nice to them.
When approaching a stranger to film an interview, it’s all about your approach.
A confident tone of voice and body language will take you far. It took me time to build confidence in these interviews.
I’m nervous every single time we start filming, but I approach strangers with the mindset that I don’t need anything from them. I don’t NEED their approval.
I’m approaching them with an opportunity to connect on a human level and their answer may go viral, so it’s actually a win for everybody.
The process of approaching strangers taught me what confidence actually is.
People can sense your vibe. I’ve fumbled a ton of times asking for interviews.
If you stumble on your words and glance down at your feet while asking a stranger for something, they sense that you’re not fully in control of the situation. Why would they want to hop on board if they’re uncertain it will be worth their time?
Now, when I’m walking around in public, I’m more likely to start conversations with random people because I’ve realized it’s not that big of a deal.
While writing the above, I thought back to when I was a single young man trying to get a girlfriend. I would ask my friends for advice on how to approach girls and they would always say “just be confident.”
I would get pissed off because I didn’t know what that actually meant. I thought to myself well, I’m not confident. I’m comfortable with who I am, but when I talked to a girl I was constantly seeking their approval.
I was trying too hard to be funny, or too interesting or too impressive and girls can sense that desperation.
This concept of confidence vs desperation goes for personal and business relationships.
Confidence is knowing that you’ll be just fine if the other person says no to you.
I’m confident approaching strangers because I don’t need anything from them. If they say no, I smile, say thank you, and find the next person.
People can sense that I’m in control of the situation and they’re more likely to say yes.
Reframe it like this if you’re struggling with confidence in certain situations.
Be unafraid of the no because being unafraid leads to the yes.
To be unafraid you must be in control. Being in control is being “confident.”
This concept goes for anything you’re looking to become more confident in, whether finding a romantic partner, finding customers, or gaining followers on social media.