There's A Bad Ending For The Lone Wolf

I think one of the reasons I get along with so many people is that I’m open about my life experiences, both the good and the bad. If I’m going through a rough patch (we all do), I’m not afraid to talk about it with friends and family.

I used to watch a lot of TikToks about how to be a man. The videos would be a video of gym bros talking about how to act, with a black and white filter on it. Common themes were how to carry yourself, how to talk to women, the good habits that lead to a successful life, etc. A lot of the videos were about how to get women to like you.

The TikTok algorithm is so good at giving you something you’ll watch. It meets you exactly where you’re at. Next time you’re on TikTok, observe the videos it serves you and take note of how the video feeds into your subconscious thoughts and beliefs.

I watched the man advice videos because I hadn’t seen much success with women and I was looking for answers. Unfortunately, a lot of the messaging I received was rooted in primal traditions of being a man. These types of guys often have a lone-wolf mentality and encourage you to show no sign of weakness to anyone because, apparently, having negative feelings in the human experience is not acceptable for a man.

If you’re reading this, you want to be the best version of yourself. But how can you be the best version if you don’t spend time identifying and processing your weaknesses, insecurities, and common problems you face?

And how can you have all the answers?

Our reality is filtered through our perspective, which is shaped by our experiences. But there are billions of other people with different perspectives, each holding a gem of knowledge waiting for us to discover and integrate. You won’t find the gems by “never showing weakness.”

Preaching the lone wolf mentality is ironic because the result of connecting with people about being a lone wolf is that you’re now the leader of a pack. People follow you and listen to what you say. That’s not a lone wolf to me.

Why would they preach the lone wolf mentality? It could be to feed into the insecurities they have not yet processed, garnering other insecure people’s positive opinions to build up their opinion of themselves.

Or maybe it’s because their experience has led them to think being the lone wolf is the best way to move forward in life. Likely because they’ve been hurt by getting close to someone. Sure, self-sufficiency is a strength and an attractive quality for finding a mate. However, there’s a gruesome ending awaiting the lone wolf. If they’re hurt or need help, they don’t have anyone to rely on. They end up astray from the pack and die a lonely death.

About ten years ago, I had a lone-wolf mentality. In my experience now, I know that I cannot do everything. Others are better at certain things than me. Everyone has a different perspective than me, and I’d like to hear it so I can integrate good ideas into my life and protect myself from the unuseful ones.

Sometimes you just need someone to listen to you so you can unravel a problem out loud. It’s like when you can’t figure something out for hours until you discover the answer as you ask someone else the question.

Let’s build ourselves up by being more open to other people’s ideas and talking through the problems we have with people we trust.